cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
