Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
