While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
