the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
