Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
