My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
