I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize