did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize