Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
