I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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