Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
