If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
