You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize