covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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