i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
