Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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