Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
