TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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