lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
