im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
