walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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