at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize