Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
