Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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