You can't motorboat a personality
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
