he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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