I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Watching her eat just hurts me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
