hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
