We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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