I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize