I want to make a zoo with you.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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