sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dick very happy bro
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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