that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
