where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
