I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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