hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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