Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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