My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
