I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize