Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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