I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
