the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
