i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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