yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
