i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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