Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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