I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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