Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
