You just made me feel so damn special
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want to have your abortion
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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