oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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