everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
