No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
