i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize