The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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