I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
