My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize