You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
