omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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