I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
