what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
