If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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