Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize