Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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