:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
