plz talk dirty to me
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
