she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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