Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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