is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
