we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
