Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
