where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize