Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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